Evening routines are just as important as morning routines. We all know it can be a joy, but at times it can also be a problem. Bedtime is different for each child and family. The question is not what your bedtime routine is, but rather is everyone getting plenty of sleep, including the parents? If what you’re doing is working for everyone in the house then life is good! If you or your child are stressed at bedtime, or if you or your child are not getting regular sleep then it is worth taking the time to build a better evening routine. Be patient. New routines rarely kick in over night, but you may well be amazed by the difference a week of consistency makes.
Parents often think they are being kind by letting the child determine where and when to sleep. It can be a little confusing for a child of 3 or 4 years to feel like his parents aren’t in charge. It can lead to both the child and parent feeling sleep deprived. If you are not able to get regular sleep you will find it hard to be a good parent during the day. It can be a vicious cycle. You’re too tired at the end of the day to follow your planned bedtime routine and so you may fall asleep regularly in the child’s bed or start to build up resentment at bedtime. Perhaps you or your child, tend to become emotional at bedtime. Everyone has an off day, but if any of these things are happening on a regular basis, it’s time for a positive change. Many families find change is much easier than expected, but you have to think ahead.
Change doesn’t just happen. You need to plan for it. Both parents have to be on the same page. If one parent is not in agreement, no matter how well thought out your new approach is, it will be sabotaged which can be worse than not trying at all.
Experts will give you several steps and varied approaches on evening routines. One helpful website is Parenting Science, found at…
http://www.parentingscience.com
They have a section on sleep studies and helpful information under preschoolers. It is important to take the time to find out why your child is having sleep difficulty. Could it be fears, overstimulation, just being over tired? The cause may well be a lack of a regular evening routine. Taking time to figure out what the most likely cause is can save you a lot of time and frustration.
Once you have decided on a family course of action, you must plan ahead regarding how you will react so you can stay calm during implementation. Know in advance that you may get less sleep for the first few nights, but if you hold your ground generally within a week everyone will be sleeping and feeling much better. This is a life gift for your child. Learning to be comfy, secure, and able to get to sleep will be a skill that your child will use the rest of his or her life.
More information, real life examples, and resources for building useful routines can be found in “The Parent Preschool Primer.” Look for the 2nd Edition available November 2017!
