Your preschooler is enjoying school, and especially enjoying playing with a special friend – until one day your child comes home in tears. Your child’s friend has decided to play with another child or to play a game with other children. Your child is not happy about the change and feels betrayed. Preschool is all about learning social skills and handling this type of change. To put it bluntly, this is what preschool is all about. It’s a good thing.
As hard as it is not to be upset and take on your child’s feelings, this is an important social development and your child needs you to listen, empathize, and to let him know this is normal and it will be okay. Depending on the situation and your knowledge of it, you may make some suggestions like: “You can try to play with Isabella tomorrow,” “Is there another friend you can play with?” or “Is there a way for you to join in with Isabella and Andy?” But mostly listen to your child and make sure your child gets plenty of rest and healthy food…because emotional growth is big work and requires a lot of energy. You may want to make sure your child’s preschool teacher is aware of the change in the play situation. You may also find that the teacher is already aware and is watching over the play transitions. This is an important part of the learning at school. There may be some difficult days, but it can be a big step and an important step. Learning to comfort yourself and learning not to be dependent on one playmate is a good thing. It is never advisable to have your happiness dependent on one other person – whether you are a preschooler or an adult.
Social situations are always changing and it’s important to allow change and growth. Make sure your child feels free to express himself and talk to his friends if he is not happy, but there has to be balance. Your child has to listen to what his friends have to say too. If the other children don’t want to play his game he may have to make a choice. He can play a new game with his old friends or he can find someone else who also wants to play his game. A big life lesson, and a hard one, is to find your own happiness. Help your child by not dwelling on the situation. It will pass and your child will have mastered another important social skill and maybe even made some new friends.